Show Me Pain (Late Night Quick Sketch)

2:40 am — Alone Together, Performed by Chet Baker et al.

Message sent. Her face, faintly glowing from her iPhone, looms against the dense darkness sheathing the room. He answers. Excitement blossoms within her, tumbling upward, growing with warmth, and finally clutching her heart, spurring sincere smiles on an otherwise unaccustomed face. She wants to laugh, she wants to speak to him, she wants to say aloud that she loves him, she wants the entire world to know, she… She can only want, for everything must be kept in to prevent the man sleeping next to her from waking.

They text back and forth nonstop. Of course, not the man asleep, she texts another man. The other man. He understands her, the man asleep understands nothing. He is the one who promised to take her away to travel the world, to experience life anew… He makes her feel his love not by giving it or asking for it, but by simply sharing it. He lets her know that she basks within his every thought of every moment of every day. He promised her he would never hurt her and she believed him. The man asleep is the one who keeps her here; traps her as one cage a beautiful white dove. Text message sent.

It is an empty, yet undeniably exhilarating feeling. No, the feeling is rich, her love for him means something, her heart flutters when he crosses her mind. It feels perverse and shameful, but in a way that makes her feel alive. No, it could not feel more right; never had she been so completely sure about something before in her entire life. He answers.

He always answers. The other man exists given she texts him back, which she always does. He must love her. She thinks of what to write back, how many times is too many times to tell someone you love them? She must love him. Well, she loves him as well as she could love anyone; certainly more than the man asleep. She hesitates before sending.

They are in love and no one can tell them any different. Maybe they had never met in real life, but who is to say what real life is anymore. Love transcends all barriers and she knows deep down in her heart the ultimate truth that she has finally found the “one.” Her soulmate, her companion for life, her best friend… Why had God separated them so far apart if they were clearly meant for each other?

Nonetheless, it was an empty love. Emptiness being an aspect which imposed itself on many areas of this dear young woman’s life. Their love took far more than it gave and truly pushed into the question just exactly what the definition of love was. Whether her “emotions,” in the loosest sense of the word, would fall under the catch-all term of love. Surely, there must be some intelligent low-life lawyer capable of bending the syntax and interpretation of the dictionary definition to put her feelings under the blanket of love. Surely, something must be done.

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